Mr Potter's Wild Ride
by Nepenthe Jade
Summary: Everyone goes to Disney World for VERY STUPID REASONS that may actually not be that stupid in the end. If you read and review, you can participate in my "Suggest A Better Title And Summary For Nepenthe's Fic" contest! Chapter two is up!
1. Harry and Draco are TWINS!

This story begins, like so many others, with an ominous cut scene from the viewpoint of the enemy that may not gain meaning until later sections. In this case, the source of the ominous-ness is one Lucius Malfoy, who comes before his master one day with a curious problem.

* * *

"My Lord," said Lucius. "I wish to seek your advice."

Voldemort nodded to indicate Lucius should continue.

"Well, my Lord, my son, Draco, is not looking forward to joining your ranks. He says that, well, Death Eaters have no _fun_."

"Of course we do!" cried Voldemort, incensed.

"I know, I know, my Lord. But the boy -"

"We must prove him wrong." Voldie interrupted. "We'll take him on a trip, to somewhere plenty of _fun_."

"An - an excellent idea, my Lord," said the flabbergasted Death Eater.

"I know; that's why it was mine. Now, Lucius, what is the happiest place on earth?"

"Do you mean, er, Disney World, my Lord?"

"Yes, yes, that's the place. Who else uses that slogan?"

"I don't know, my Lord."

"Yes, I rather thought you didn't. Well, make plans for a four-day trip, Lucius. We had best do this thing properly. Remember to get accommodations for both of us, and the boy. I have to go too so he gets the right bad example. And for the sake of all that is evil, have us stay on property. But in one of the cheap places."

"Yes, my Lord. I will."

"Get out now."

"Right." Lucius, somewhat shaken, realized he had forgotten the "my Lord" part as he retreated.

* * *

Now, as is the custom, we shall focus on our noble protagonists:

* * *

During his time at the Dursleys', before he had arrived at the Burrow, Harry Potter had come up with a plan. Like all good plans, it involved a bit of blackmail. He gathered up Ron, Hermione, and Ginny in Ron's bedroom, and then stood before them with a very authoritarian manner.

"I have decided," Harry began, "That I am taking you all on vacation."

"Harry, what are you talking about?" said Hermione, her forehead creased.

"What do you mean, taking us?" Ron asked.

Harry was unaffected. "I mean I'm taking you all on an all-expenses paid trip somewhere."

Ron paled. "Harry..."

"It's payback for staying at your house all these times," Harry went on relentlessly, ignoring all protests.

"Harry, you can't!" said Ron, more firmly now.

"You really can't, Harry," said the voice of reason - er - Hermione. "It's not safe."

"I _can_," said Harry defiantly. "I've gotten Dumbledore's permission already."

"Oh," Hermione murmured, and lapsed into thought.

"That doesn't matter anyway," said Ron. "Mum and Dad will never let you take us anywhere."

"They will if I have all of your support," said Harry.

"What makes you think we'll support you in this?" Ron retorted.

"I will!" said Ginny. Hermione still looked nervous, and Ron glared at his sister.

"You two will too," Harry added, glaring at Ron and Hermione.

"Why?"

"Because," said Harry levelly, "If you don't, I'll tell Ron's parents about the last day of school."

Ron and Hermione gasped. Ginny tried to hide her smile. Harry had woken up early that morning to find them both asleep on a couch in the Gryffindor common room, Ron's head lolling onto Hermione and Hermione's hand on Ron's chest.

"You wouldn't!" cried Ron in shock, but Hermione hissed "Don't push him, Ron!" and added to Harry, "Fine."

Harry grinned. Things had gone exactly to plan. "I thought you would agree," he said.

"Where are we going?" asked Hermione loudly, trying to drown out Ron's mutter of "sadistic git."

"Well," said Harry thoughtfully, "I was thinking, maybe, this place that Dudley's always wanted to go, but my aunt and uncle have never taken him, which is a big bonus." (AN: I know this is mildly accurate, having once met a Brit at Disney myself, while sitting out Kali River Rapids. Whether or not British people go to Disney World often, or why on earth they wouldn't go to Euro Disney, is beyond my knowledge.)

"Where?" said Ron blankly.

"Disney World" - breezily.

Without preamble, Ginny fell off of Ron's bed.

"What is it?" Ron asked, helping her back up.

"Disney World..." she murmured. "I've wanted to go since I was six."

"What on earth...?" said Ron.

"Well, I'll quote Fred and George. Ask no questions, I'll tell you no lies."

"Touché," said Ron.

"So..." said Harry. "Everyone agree on Disney World?"

"I guess it would be fun to go," Hermione said slowly.

"It's as good an idea as any," assented Ron, even though he still didn't know what Disney World was.

Nobody felt the need to ask Ginny for her approval.

"When are we springing the news on Ron's parents?" Hermione asked, grinning in spite of herself.

"Tomorrow morning," said Harry. "After I confirm the bookings. Just to make sure they don't ask to get out of it."

"Excellent," said Ginny. Hermione raised an eyebrow.

Harry sent an owl to the wizard travel agent he had been consorting with to confirm the bookings, and showed the others the brochures she had sent him. Everyone flicked through them, even the skeptical Ron, and discussed what they knew of the place. Ron and Harry started up a game of Exploding Snap and listened to Hermione and Ginny argue over which park they were going to go to in amusement. Finally Harry relented and confessed that they would be going to all of them - one each day over four days. Ginny stuck her tongue out at him, pretending to be mad at him for letting them debate for so long. After they had all been through the brochures so many times as to have memorized them (Ginny pretending it was the first time she'd seen them), Hermione and Ginny left for their bedroom and everyone went to bed, falling asleep amidst thoughts of what it would be like.

* * *

Harry awakened before Ron the next morning, and rolled out of bed quietly so as not to disturb him. Hedwig had returned from the travel agent as he slumbered, and she had a note from the travel agent that was basically inconsequential, merely confirming that the arrangements had been confirmed, or something of that nature. Now he took a fresh bit of parchment and wrote to Dumbledore, as the headmaster had encouraged him to do.

Dear Professor Dumbledore,

I've convinced Hermione, Ron, and Ginny. Breaking the news to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley later this morning. Everything is set to go. Just thought you'd want to know.

Harry sucked on his quill for a moment, a bad habit of his. It wasn't actually a sugar quill, so it left a funny taste in his mouth. Deciding he had nothing left to say, he concluded,

Thanks for the advice,

Harry

He rolled up the note, tied it with a loose thread from Ron's vibrant bedspread, and gave it to Hedwig, who hooted agreeably and flew away.

* * *

Thirty minutes later found Albus Dumbledore seated in his office. If he had known he was being watched, he would have immediately pretended to be reading or deep in thought, but as it was he had for some time now been doodling on a spare bit of parchment. He had just finished drawing a pair of elaborate sunglasses on the sun (appropriate, no?) when Hedwig landed on his desk. He took the note she carried and she flew over to a bookshelf on the wall opposite his desk to help herself to an Owl Treat. After Dumbledore had read Harry's note, he steepled his fingers and sat there for a long time. One would like to think that he was pondering how to defeat Voldemort, feed the hungry, get Snape to wash his hair, or something noble like that, but in fact he was merely formulating a great deal of plans that would result in a great deal of pissed off Severus Snape. But the unassuming headmaster didn't know that. Actually, he did. I should stop lying.

...Anyway.

After he had reached a conclusion, he told Hedwig that she could fly back to Harry, or rest in the Owlery, if she liked. She gave an appreciative hoot and nicked another owl treat on her way out.

He stood and walked over to his fireplace, where he knelt down. In turn, he Flooed his head into the fireplaces of the offices of Snape and McGonagall and told them to come to his office in two hours. Then he Flooed his head to Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, where breakfast was commencing spectacularly, and made a similar request of Nymphadora Tonks. All of this accomplished, he returned to his desk and proceeded to add more detail to the beams of his sun drawing.

* * *

Back at the Burrow, Harry walked back into Ron's room in a fresh t-shirt and jeans, having just showered. It was ten o'clock, an hour after Harry's awakening. Hedwig hadn't returned, having taken up Dumbledore on his offer of the Owlery, and so his only company was the still sleeping figure of Ron. It hurt Harry's eyes to look at him, as the bedspread and Ron's hair were still vying for the coveted Most Lurid Color in the Room Award. Harry had just resolved to wake him up when a tawny owl flew into the room with a package. As soon as Harry removed the cargo, the owl departed. He unwrapped the brown paper, blissfully unwary of things like letter bombs from Voldemort, and found three items inside: a note, an envelope, and an empty plastic cup with a lid and straw, such as one can find at a fast food restaurant. The note said:

Goodness, Harry, I almost forgot. This is your portkey. I've set it so that it won't activate at a certain time, but rather when all the members of your party touch it. It'll take you to a hotel in Orlando, and you'll have to take a bus to get into the park. I've put enough American Muggle money inside for bus fare, and after four days you'll be able to take it back to where you're staying. The other enclosure, the envelope, you should guard with your life. That's your reservation information to get into the hotel. Woe be unto you should you lose it. Good luck, and happy travels!

And there was the signature of his travel agent. Harry nervously stuck the note, portkey, and envelope in a drawer of Ron's dresser, apprehensive about carrying them around. Then he returned his attention to his previous task, and shook Ron's shoulder roughly.

"What do you mean, saw us asleep together in the common room?" Ron murmured sleepily, rolling over and away from Harry. Harry laughed out loud, causing Ron to roll back onto his back and blink his eyes open.

"What is it, mate?" he said slowly, eyeing Harry suspiciously as he sat up.

"Nothing," said Harry, still grinning, "Never mind."

"Well, let's go down to breakfast then," said Ron, looking unconvinced. He hastily got dressed and they went downstairs, where they found Hermione and Ginny halfway through breakfast.

"You know, Hermione," said Ron, sitting down next to her, "I don't think it's healthy, getting up so early."

"You just keep telling yourself that, Ron," replied Hermione, without any conviction behind her irritation, and it took about five seconds for the snit to be completely forgotten as Hermione asked Ginny to pass the butter. Harry was forcibly reminded of his first detention with Umbridge, when he had repeatedly cut his hand only to find that it instantly healed every time.

"So where're your mum and dad?" Harry asked Ginny, seating himself across from Ron.

"Dad had to meet someone in the Leaky Cauldron," said Ginny, "And Mum went along to pick up some odds and ends in Diagon Alley. We didn't have the heart to mention anything to them before you two got up," she added with a smirk.

"Thanks a bunch," said Ron sarcastically, loading some eggs onto his plate. "I don't much fancy informing Mum we're going on vacation, thanks."

"Your dad'll love it, though," said Harry, who was greatly looking forward to Mr. Weasley's reactions to all of the Muggle technology.

"Yeah," said Ron sourly, "You won't even have to _blackmail_ him."

But Harry privately thought that Ron didn't really mean it.

Later, while they were still clearing away the plates from the kitchen table, the Weasleys Apparated into their living room.

"Oh, good," said Mrs. Weasley, as she entered the kitchen. "You ate breakfast."

Harry was always astounded by Mrs. Weasley's abounding appreciation of things like breakfast.

"Right," said Harry, putting the last plate next to the sink with the others and then sitting back down at the table with a pointed glance at Ron, Hermione, and Ginny, who all hastened to join him. Just then Mr. Weasley came in, smiling and cheerfully greeting the four of them.

"Um," said Harry loudly, as it was the only thing he could think of.

"What is it, Harry?" Mrs. Weasley said immediately.

"Nothing," said Harry, "Nothing serious. I would just like to, er, ask you something. Or tell you, really..."

Harry trailed off. Ginny gave him the "get a move on, it's not _that_ difficult" look, and so he continued to beat around the bush spectacularly.

"Well," he said slowly, the eyes of everyone else upon him, "I discussed it with Dumbledore, and he thought it was a good idea...he said that he could put in place the proper security measures...and he thought that everyone needed the time to relax, too, while it's still summer..."

"I agree," Mr. Weasley said, "Everyone is uptight, and the school year hasn't even started yet."

"Yeah," said Harry, a little faster now, "Yeah, that's exactly what I thought...you know, everyone overstraining themselves a bit...so..."

The bush had been beaten till it could be beaten around no more. There was nothing for it.

"Vacation," he muttered.

Mrs. Weasley's face fell. "Oh Harry," she said sadly. "I wish we could go somewhere..."

"No," said Harry, seeing she had misunderstood. "We are. I'm taking you. Disney World."

"Certainly not," said Mrs. Weasley.

"I've already made reservations, and Dumbledore thinks it's a good idea," Harry said again.

Mrs. Weasley wasn't one to ignore Dumbledore's advice. She fell silent, as two conflicting forces inside her head tried to reconcile themselves. After a moment, Mr. Weasley was no longer able to contain his curiosity and asked, "What's Disney World?"

"It's in America," said Ginny promptly, before catching herself and letting Harry pick up where she left off. "It's a Muggle vacation place, one of the most popular, with shows and rides."

Mr. Weasley, however, had tuned out after the word "Muggle," his decision having been made.

"Molly?" he said pleadingly, turning to her.

She considered them all for a moment, clearly stalling for time.

"When would we leave?" she asked.

"Today, I was hoping," said Harry.

Mrs. Weasley didn't reply. "Please, mum?" said Ginny, after several more seconds.

"Oh..." said Mrs. Weasley, forehead wrinkled. "Oh, all right."

Everyone cheered, but Ginny and Arthur were the loudest.

"Okay," said Mrs. Weasley, taking charge. "We're leaving tonight at seven. Everyone pack, or do whatever you have to do. Arthur, contact the Ministry about your taking a vacation for -"

"Four days," Harry supplied.

"Excellent," Arthur beamed, and Disapparated. Mrs. Weasley smiled reluctantly at his enthusiasm.

"One more thing," said Harry. "Everyone needs to pack cool clothes, shorts and short sleeves, you know. It's really hot there."

"We're going to go pack," announced Ginny, and pulled Hermione out of the room.

Harry and Ron left to pack as well, lacking a better idea.

Up in Ginny's room, Ginny and Hermione decided to share a trunk since it was a short trip. Ginny packed in some clothes and then left to get her shampoo and conditioner from the bathroom. While she was gone, Hermione started putting in some of her clothing - clingy button-down shirts, turtlenecks, jeans - "WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?"

Ginny had returned and was staring horrorstruck at the latest additions to the trunk.

"Packing." - mildly.

"Hermione, you'll burn to death in those things! Don't you have any tank tops, shorts, capris, t-shirts, anything?"

"No," said Hermione blankly.

"Get your wallet, Hermione," said Ginny grimly. "We need to go shopping."

Hermione extricated her money from the trunk and with that, Ginny seized her arm and pulled her downstairs. Upon arriving in the kitchen, they found Mrs. Weasley washing up the last of the breakfast dishes.

"Mum," Ginny said, "Can we go shopping? Only Hermione doesn't have any cool clothes."

"I have some short-sleeved button downs!" protested Hermione.

"School uniform is _never_ comfortable," replied Ginny solidly. "So can we, mum?"

Mrs. Weasley turned to face the two of them, still holding the dripping dishrag.

"You'll be able to know we're safe with the clock," wheedled Ginny.

"Oh, all right. Floo yourselves to the Leaky Cauldron and don't leave Diagon Alley. Oh, and no ice cream or anything, because we're having lunch soon after you get back."

"Okay!" said Ginny happily.

"Thanks, Mrs. Weasley!" said Hermione.

Molly smiled. "Well, best be on your way. The sooner you go, the sooner you get back."

"Right," they said. First Ginny, and then Hermione, threw some Floo powder into the fire place, cried, "The Leaky Cauldron!" and were gone.

* * *

The first one to show up in Dumbledore's office was Tonks, beaming as usual, today through a frame of brown ringlets. Minerva McGonagall came not much later, and finally, barely punctual, Snape arrived, looking as though he had been disturbed in the middle of something infinitely important and it was irritating him very much. (AN: I just want to promise right now I'm not shipping any teachers, as almost all of the options available are incredibly gross. I can't say, however, that I'm not going to be sadistic, especially in regard to Severus. ;-))

Dumbledore conjured up chairs for each of them as they arrived, but didn't speak immediately, letting them all brood, or, in Tonks's case, take the opportunity to change her eye color from blue to brown. Finally the portrait of Phineas Nigellus yelled impatiently, "Get on with it, Dumbledore!" and he began to speak.

"I have decided," he said, face solemn but eyes twinkling, "That I am taking you all on a vacation to Disney World in America."

Severus and Minerva looked thunderstruck. Tonks, who had no idea what Disney World was, cheered anyway, "Oh, that sounds like fun!"

"Why?" Severus ejaculated.

"Because everyone here is too overwrought before the start of school, and overly nervous about Voldemort." There was a pause when everyone else winced, and Tonks said blankly, "I'm not."

"I know," Dumbledore nodded. "You're coming to keep Minerva company."

Professor McGonagall looked like she was having a very, very hard time not snorting derisively at this; she had little respect for Tonks's antics.

"God bless you, Minerva," said Tonks, "for being so cranky."

Needless to say, this did not improve Minerva's mood.

"I want everyone to go pack and be back here after dinner. Tonks, you can come to Hogwarts for dinner too, if you like; the house-elves always cook for an army."

Tonks enthusiastically agreed. Minerva and Severus were wearing twin scowls.

"Headmaster," said Minerva, "We need this time to prepare lesson plans and materials."

"Professor McGonagall, you know as well as I do that that is entirely untrue; you've been ready for classes for two weeks already. As have you, Professor Snape," Dumbledore added, when Snape opened his mouth to protest.

"This - will - be - good for you," Dumbledore continued, drawing out each word. "You will relax and learn plenty about Muggles."

"Oooh, this is _exciting!_" said Tonks, infinitely pleased.

"Pack for four days. I'll see you this evening," the headmaster concluded.

"Bye!" said Tonks, before Flooing back to the Order headquarters.

Severus was shaking with suppressed frustration and Minerva's mouth was a line so thin as to be

* * *

"My Lord," said Lucius, "I have a query."

Voldemort, who had been squirting an entire can of whipped cream onto his tongue, hastily swallowed and said, "Well don't keep me in suspense, L-Train, what is it?"

With an enormous effort, Lucius ignored the nickname and asked, "How are we to get to Disney World?"

"I was thinking we would Apparate."

"But with the boy, my Lord, isn't that illegal?"

"Oh yes, and Lord Voldemort totally fears the long arm of the law."

"Oh. Oh yeah."

"Oh, before I forget, have you made the reservations?"

"No, my Lord. Smoking or non-smoking?"

"Non-smoking, stupid! Lord Voldemort can not wear robes weighed down with cigarette stench!"

"Of course, my Lord."

"Come back at nine with the boy, and we'll leave."

"Yes, my Lord."

* * *

Ginny and Hermione stepped out of the grate at the Leaky Cauldron and went into Diagon Alley. First they went to Gringotts, where Hermione had the money her parents had given her converted into wizarding currency. Then, ignoring Hermione protests, ("I swear all I'll do is get a quill!") Ginny dragged Hermione over to a little store Hermione'd never seen before, called The Sunbug. Next to those words on the sign above the door was a large glittery ladybug that occasionally scurried across the title and then back to its previous location. Hermione gaped at it until Ginny pulled her inside. Hermione was instantly overwhelmed by rock music and bright colors.

"You know, Ginny," said Hermione tentatively, "my mum and dad didn't give me too much money."

"Yeah," said Ginny. "Like I don't know how to bargain shop?"

Hermione shut up until Ginny began leafing through a rack of spaghetti-strap tank tops, when she choked out, "No."

"Okay," said Ginny. "This better?"

She was holding up a sunny yellow tank top, but the kind with wide straps. Hermione nodded and was ordered by Ginny, "Pick out four of them, there's a sale so we might as well do it properly."

Hermione did as she was told, and, having gained Ginny's approval, they moved on to the bottoms section. Ginny didn't even attempt to ask about skirts. Instead, Hermione got some khaki, denim, and black cropped capris.

"Well, variety isn't our strong point," said Ginny, after all of this. "But it works."

They had almost made it to check out when Ginny stopped short and asked Hermione, "You don't have any sandals, do you?"

"No," Hermione said hesitantly, "but -"

Ginny cut her off. "_No way_ are you going in _anything_ but sandals, are you crazy?"

Hermione decided it was no use to argue and followed Ginny over to the shoe section, where she was appeased by the purchase of a pair of plain white flip-flops. Finally Ginny let Hermione pay for the clothes, and they emerged from the shop blinking in the bright sunlight. Ginny checked her watch; it was eleven.

"I guess we should head back," said Ginny.

Hermione agreed; they were halfway back to the Leaky Cauldron when Hermione cried, "WAIT!"

"What is it?" said Ginny, looking at her in alarm.

"I've had an idea. Come on, it's down this way."

"Fine. But we're not buying any quills."

Hermione glared at her but received only a cheeky grin in response, and they turned around and walked, past the Sunbug, farther down Diagon Alley than Ginny thought she had ever been before. This time it was her turn to experience a new place, as Hermione stopped in front of a prim-looking building that a sign heralded as "The Muggle Archives."

"What is this place?" she said skeptically.

"It's a library, except it has only things published by Muggles."

"Her_my_ohnee!"

"_Honestly_, I'll only need about ten minutes."

Upon entering, they were greeted by an owl even smaller than Pigwidgeon. Hermione, who had clearly been here before, said to it, "Disney World."

The owl hooted and started to fly away from them, turning between two rows of bookshelves. "Come on, Ginny," said Hermione, and with that she set off following it.

After a thirty-second chase the owl landed on a shelf near the back of the building and waited for the girls to catch up. When they did, it hooted again and flew back to the entrance. Comprehension dawned on Ginny as Hermione squinted at the spines of the books, which were all Muggle publications about Disney World.

"Merlin!" she cried. "Hermione, you're amazing!"

"Shh!" Hermione replied. "It's a library!"

But she looked rather pleased with herself all the same. After examining her options, Hermione selected a book, and Ginny followed suit. After checking them out and stowing them in Hermione's shopping bag, they exited the Archive and walked quickly back to the Leaky Cauldron, nervous about being admonished by Mrs. Weasley, and promptly Flooed home.

* * *

Ron and Harry were playing chess (they had finished packing) when Hermione and Ginny burst into the room. As Ron's bedroom lacked a table, they had set up the board on the bed. Ron, whose back was to the door, quickly twisted around to see who the new arrivals were, causing several pieces to be knocked over in the turbulence and eliciting cries of disgust from some of them.

"Hello Ron!" said Hermione, beaming at him.

Ron wasn't sure whether to smile back or run and hide, but Hermione had already moved on anyway.

"We just dropped in to tell you two we got some books!"

Ron and Harry groaned in unison, but Ginny said, "No, look!"

She pulled out their selections and tossed one to each of them.

"Wow," said Ron, scrutinizing his. "Hermione, I never thought I'd say this to you, but, _cool_."

"Mm," Harry agreed, having already opened his.

"I love to see them reading," Hermione said to Ginny. "It's so..._unusual_. Come on, let's leave them to it and finish packing."

"Right," said Ginny, smirking, and they went back to Ginny's room. By the time Mrs. Weasley had called them for lunch, they were done. During the meal, Harry and Ron kept on spouting random facts like, "The height of the final drop of Splash Mountain is equivalent to a three-story building!" or "The Tree of Life at Animal Kingdom has the images of _five hundred_ different animals carved into it!" Finally Hermione snapped and said, "Knock it off, you two are starting to sound like me, when I say things like 'Muggle devices don't work inside Hogwarts.' _Honestly_," and, horrified, they stopped.

The rest of the day passed in a haze of reading, discussing, and playing. Mr. Weasley came home for dinner, very near quivering with excitement. Everyone ate quickly and then went to retrieve their luggage. They reconvened in the living room, holding their luggage with one hand and reaching to touch the portkey with the other. They all made contact at exactly the same moment, and were transported to Orlando in a dizzying rush of color and sound.

* * *

Dinner at Hogwarts that evening was a solemn affair, with the exceptions of Dumbledore and Tonks. Snape and McGonagall were cranky because they had to go, and the other teachers were cranky because they weren't. However, as Dumbledore calmly explained to them, almost all of them were flat characters and couldn't be expected to feature in fan fiction.

After dinner the four travelers went up to Dumbledore's office, after retrieving their bags from wherever they had left them.

"So where are we Apparating to?" asked Tonks, bouncing on the balls of her feet. Dumbledore gave everyone the coordinates of their destination and after a soft _pop!_ they Disapparated, arriving in a building with a carpeted floor next to a window, and standing behind a bit of wall that concealed them from the Muggles. Yes, Severus realized with horror, there were Muggles here, and out the wide window he had a view of a plane runway.

"Professor," he said furiously, "Why, in the name of everything sacred, couldn't we just Apparate to America?"

"Because flying is more enjoyable and educational."

"Educational, my hat," said Minerva sourly.

"Now then," Professor Dumbledore continued, ignoring her. "We need to hurry, the airplane is taking off soon. Here are everybody's boarding passes." He handed them out, and no one bothered to ask how he had gotten them.

Now Tonks, who had actually flown once to visit her father, realized that they had in fact Apparated to outside their gate, so they wouldn't have to go through security. She led the way over to the flight attendant standing next to the opening of that tunnel that leads onto the plane, who accepted their boarding passes with an airy smile. They boarded the plane, walked back into the coach section, and found their block of four seats next to the window. Dumbledore took the window seat and Snape sat next to him, and behind them Tonks took the window seat while McGonagall sat on the aisle. Severus glared at the other passengers as they made their way past him to the seats, until finally Dumbledore switched seats with him so fewer people would be exposed to his fearsome countenance. After one of those odd safety videos where a bunch of actors act unaffected as they pull masks over their faces - Tonks laughed raucously through the entire thing - the plane gathered speed and took off. The captain's voice filtered through the cabin.

"We will now begin our in-flight movie, _102 Dalmatians_."

As the film began, Snape groaned to himself and wished he had thought to bring a painkiller potion. It was going to be a very, very long flight.

* * *

"I don't -want- to go. There won't be any nasty _girls_ over there," Draco drawled in protest.

"Since when did you care about women?" Lucius irritably returned. "Merlin knows you could do better than that Parkinson swine, as far as looks go. Why on earth did you go to the Yule Ball with her?"

"Because you wouldn't talk me up to the parents of any Durmstrang girls, _Father_."

"Oh yes, I had forgotten about that. You looked like you were going to cry when I refused."

Draco very, very much wanted his father to shut up. In fact, he wasn't really interested in getting a girlfriend right now, but he had been running out of reasons to hate this vacation.

He and his father were on their way now to meet the Dark Lord and set off. They levitated a large leather duffel bag in front of them stuffed with all of their things, but mainly clothing. Malfoys are, after all, nothing if not vain.

After this latest protest they arrived at the mahogany door to Voldemort's quarters, and Lucius knocked and entered.

"L-Train! D-Train! Great to see you!" babbled the Dark Lord, as soon as he saw them. Lucius noted that he was swinging an empty martini glass and suppressed a shudder as he remembered the last time his master had tried to Apparate drunk.

"Shall we be off then, my Lord?" he asked.

"But of course!"

"Wait!" cried Draco, who had not been informed of the plan. "How are we getting there!"

"App'rating!" cried Voldemort giddily.

Lucius spun around to face his son, and, looking him in the eye, said, "For the love of Muggle torture, Draco, concentrate hard on where you're going and then think, 'Apparate!'"

Immediately after saying this both Draco's father and his father's master Disapparated.

"I'll have a bloody party if I don't get splinched," said Draco aloud to the empty room, and with that he disappeared.

* * *

I think I'll leave y'all in suspense as to whether or not he lives. Back to the adults!

* * *

Professor McGonagall had made a wonderful discovery. Having been driven to her limits by Tonks's antics (changing her eye color, loudly exclaiming upon things she saw in the magazine that had been in the pouch on the back of the chair in front of her), she had stood up and walked towards the back of the plane without any idea where she was going. And there she found it - the food cart that was usually being pushed around by the stewardesses. Pouring herself an orange juice, Minerva vowed to stay there for as long as she could.

Back in the seating area, Snape was faring no better. The film was positively hellish. It mercifully concluded but was followed by a lengthy excerpt from some show called _The Twilight Zone_. Dumbledore thought it was great, but Snape was relieved when he began to drift off to sleep.

Not much later, Tonks poked her head in between the two seats in front of her and cheerily inquired, "How's Severus taking it, Professor?"

"He's fallen asleep," Dumbledore replied, turning to face her.

"Well come take Minerva's seat then, she's gone and disappeared too and I'm so bored I could tear my hair out. I brought some cards, we can play Go Fish."

"An excellent proposition," said Dumbledore, doing as she suggested.

They were halfway through their second game when Minerva returned looking cranky.

"What's wrong, Minnie?" inquired Tonks, grinning because she had just made a match.

"My ears hurt," she said thickly, "_And_ Albus took my seat."

"Oh, bother, sit next to Severus. We're in the middle of a game."

"Well, thanks, _Nymphadora_."

Tonks glared at McGonagall as she sat down.

After a lengthy pause, Minerva said, "My ears still hurt."

"Chew some gum," Tonks suggested.

"I don't carry sweets all over with me!"

"I do," Dumbledore intoned, proffering some gum and deeply hoping she'd shut up so he could try to come back and win the game.

She begrudgingly took a strip and unwrapped it looking bitterly regretful. After she had begun chewing Dumbledore returned his attention to his cards and said sullenly, "Go fish."

Tonks raised an eyebrow at him. "I can't; it's your turn."

* * *

By the end of the flight everybody was miserable; Dumbledore because he had lost at cards, Tonks because he refused to play again, and the other two for obvious reasons. Everybody fell asleep except for the headmaster, who was focusing his attention on frowning at the TV screen above him, which was blank. At last the captain announced they would be landing shortly, and Dumbledore checked that no one was watching before performing spells on Tonks and McGonagall to overcome their jet lag so they would sleep that evening; he wasn't sure he could stand the two of them together on sleep deprivation. He made to do it to Snape too but then appeared to think better of it and stowed his wand back in his bag. After a moment of steeling himself, he awakened the three of them, who all glared at him mutinously as the airplane began its descent. He studiously ignored them in turn as they touched down and filed out into the airport. Severus forcibly argued about it until Dumbledore agreed to Apparition to the hotel, and even Muggle-friendly Tonks couldn't work up a protest. Relieved that his charges were in agreement for a change, he led them all into an abandoned corner of the airport, and they disappeared.

* * *

After about ten seconds the sound of high-pitched laughter reached Draco's ears, and when he finally opened his eyes he was astonished to see that whatever he had done had worked, and he arrived at the sides of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and his father. The giggler was Voldemort.

"Lucius," he said, gasping with laughter, "Your boy - he's – why – eyes closed – looks like a _goon_," he panted finally.

"Mmm," said Lucius, in automatic agreement. "Goon. Absolutely right."

He was looking around at their surroundings and giving his master as little attention as possible. Draco irritably did likewise, tilting back his head to look up in a way that caused his silvery-blond strands to fall back pell-mell. Of course, they had Apparated carelessly into the open (whether on purpose or not is debatable), and were standing in front of letters twice his height that read "ALL STAR MOVIES", and behind these letters was a wide band of sidewalk like a moat that separated them from the doors to the lobby.

"I guess we should go get our room key." The Dark Lord was still breathless with laughter.

"Here's the reservation information," said Lucius, pulling out a thin sheaf of papers from within his luggage.

"I'll go," said Draco immediately, striving to not sound patronizing. "You two wait out here."

"Fine," his father replied, relinquishing the papers, "But look eighteen, will you? Otherwise we're breaking the law." He paused and added, "Again."

"Yeah, whatever," said Draco, turning toward the doors. We walked into the lobby, which was brightly colored in a way that caused him pain. Directly across from him was the entrance to a gift shop, to the left was a little screening area centered around a screen showing clips from classic Disney television shows and movies, and to his right was the long front desk. He waltzed up to a cast member behind said desk wearing the classic lurid uniform and presented his reservation information wordlessly. She cheerfully gave him four plastic credit card-like (though Draco didn't know it) things that had pictures of a blond fairy in a green dress on the front superimposed over a pastel purple background. Wondering how much of this he could take, he listened as the employee explained that they were both room keys and tickets and then gave him some park maps. Scowling at her command to "Have a nice day" he trudged out. It was then that he noticed something – it had been almost dark when they left Britain, but here the sun was high in the sky.

"Apparition counteracts the time change then, does it?" he asked as he rejoined his chaperones.

"Yes, you'll fall asleep as normal tonight, but you'll lose the time on the return trip," Lucius explained. "Do you have our room key?"

"Oh yeah." Draco gave each of them one of the (in his opinion) hideous cards.

"Ooh pretty fairy!" Voldemort cried.

"C'mon, we're in the Buzz Lightyear building in the Toy Story complex, whatever that is. This direction."

He sauntered off towards the building the front desk had told him to look for, and arrived in front of the huge figure of a cartoon astronaut, standing in the middle of a courtyard of overlarge toys. Woody was standing across from Buzz, but Buzz was as much as Draco could handle right now. He led the other two up a flight of stairs made to look like a bucket of toy soldiers, and over to their room. Sliding his key in the unlocking mechanism, he opened the door and was rewarded with a view of a plain-looking room. Two double beds with bright bedspreads, a television, a light fixture that looked like a bag of popcorn, a sink, a bathroom, and a poster for the movie _Toy Story_. Checking that his father and Voldemort were still behind him, he walked in to investigate further. Lucius followed, dropping the trunk on the shelf next to the television. Voldemort, who had begun skipping, skipped into the room and exclaimed, "Ooohh, how pretty!"

"My Lord, how many martinis did you have before we met you to depart?"

Voldemort spun around to face his servant. "Eleventy-one," he said solemnly.

"Okay then," said Lucius. "How about we watch the Muggle box?" he added, gesturing at the television.

"Yay!" Voldemort sat on the second bed and withdrew his wand, waving it to turn on the television. At the same moment Draco turned it on with the remote (He had taken Muggle Studies to learn how to torment them better), so that the Dark Lord applauded and cheered, "It worked! It worked!"

"Actually –" Draco began, prepared to explain, but he was cut off by a venomous look from his father and Voldemort was left in happy naiveté.

The television had been turned on to the Disney Information Channel, which, as usual, featured some actress enumerating the top ten sights at Disney World. After an hour of watching this in which the top ten list repeated itself three times, Lucius attempted to change the channel, but this elicited such an outcry from Voldemort that he immediately switched it back, and didn't try again. Some torturous four hours later, Voldemort tore his attention from the show long enough to say, "I'm hungry."

"There's a food court in the main building," Draco said immediately, very eager to break up the monotony.

"You and the boy go get me something, Lucius," Voldemort easily commanded. "Something..._greasy_."

As it turned out, this request for greasiness was going to be very easy to fulfill. This became obvious as soon as the father-and-son pair entered the food court, which stopped short only at offering every food they sold with extra butter for a cost. Lucius bought his master a chicken quesadilla that swam in its own special puddle of grease, while Draco bought himself and his father two cheese steak sandwiches that dripped with the stuff.

Nothing had ever looked so delicious.

They hurried back to their room before the food got cold, and found Voldemort still glued to the television. He was now cheering for his favorite parts of it, but he stopped when he saw, or rather smelled (the aroma of the food was very strong), his companions' entrance, and seized the quesadilla when Lucius gave it to him, tearing into it ferociously.

"Mm – excellent –" he said between chews. "How _ever_ did you find something so greasy?"

Neither of the Malfoys had the heart to tell him that a real dilemma would have been finding something _not_ greasy. However, Draco was so pleased by his sandwich that he almost began to muse that maybe this trip wasn't doomed after all. After everything was consumed the three of them sat looking rather sadly at their plates, until Voldemort broke the silence by declaring, "You know, I think this program is just repeating itself. Let's change it."

So they turned the television channel to another station called CNN, where some old man (Larry King) was interviewing some other old man for unclear reasons. For some reason Voldemort thought this was hilariously funny, so the other two had to put up with it until, halfway through a peal of laughter, he passed out and fell back onto his bed.

"He's out for the night," said Draco, walking over to examine him.

"Thank Grindelwald," Lucius murmured, switching off the television. By this time it was around nine o'clock. Draco went to take a shower and when he returned, his father was reading a large book on the mental ramifications of torture in Muggles that elicited the occasional chuckle from him. Draco tugged the large comforter off the foot of his father's bed and laid it on the floor, stealing a pillow as well to sit at one end, and lay down. The light was still on because Lucius was reading, but lacking such a distraction, it was not long before Draco fell into a welcome sleep, feeling exhausted.

* * *

Ginny felt her feet collide with the floor; a moment later the rest of her did likewise as she was unable to remain standing. Her head knocked into something, and she and Harry both cried out at the same time, "Ow!"

She opened her eyes, sitting up, and realized her and Harry's heads must have collided. "Sorry," she said sheepishly, getting to her feet. Around her, her fellow travelers were doing the same.

"What a trip!" sighed Mrs. Weasley, brushing some hair out of her face.

"Good thing Portkeys compensate for time changes," Hermione chimed in.

"Very good thing," Arthur agreed.

"Time changes!?" said Harry, who had only just thought of it.

"Of course, mate," said Ron. "I mean, even I realized that."

"It's just after lunchtime here, Harry dear," Mrs. Weasley explained.

"Oh well," said Harry, shrugging it off. "More time for us to get our bearings and explore, I guess."

"Absolutely right," Mr. Weasley agreed.

"Where are we?" Ginny interrupted.

"The travel agent said we'd end up at a Muggle hotel in Orlando..." said Harry slowly.

"Well, we must be in some empty hallway, then!" Arthur reasoned. He was very excited.

"Right. Let's find the exit," said Molly, taking charge again.

This proved an easy task and in a few minutes they were standing outside in the bright shortly-after-noontime sunlight.

"What now?" Ginny asked, looking around as if expecting a Disney princess to jump out from behind a bush at her.

"We're going to take a bus," said Harry.

This was too much for Arthur. "Really!?" he cried.

"Shh, Arthur!" his wife admonished. "There's Muggles everywhere!"

He contained himself as Harry led the way over to the bench next to a sign that indicated that this was the bus stop, and they all sat down. Ginny peered curiously at their surroundings, which were bright, sunny, and saturated with palm trees. After a few minutes the bus arrived and they all piled on. As it was the middle of the day, it was rather abandoned. Even Ron, Ginny noted, looked excited as they drove down the road between two signs that proclaimed that they were now entering Walt Disney World. They arrived at the ticketing center, where they caught another bus to the All-Star Movies resort. Ginny was the last off the bus, and she gasped at the sight that was unfolded before her.

"This," she said, "is _so cool_."

No one was able to think of anything to add to that, so they moved into the lobby in silence.

"I'll get the keys," said Harry. "You can all sit over there." He indicated the screening area.

"No thanks," said Ginny. "I'll go with you."

He didn't protest so she followed him up to the registration desk. As the clerk, a middle-aged man with a goatee, gave Harry the set of room keys/tickets, he grinned at the two of them and said, "You'll have a great time. There's nothing like going to Disney World with your girlfriend."

Harry went scarlet; curiously, it was Ginny who took the effort to say, "Oh, we're not a couple. Thanks anyway, though, I'm sure we'll have fun." She accepted the maps he proffered and led a still speechless Harry back over to the rest of their party.

"Come on, all," she said, grinning. "We're in the Toy Story area, in the Woody building. We have to go outside to get there."

Reemerging into the sunlight seemed to bring Harry back to his senses, and he took charge long enough to get them lost somewhere over in the _Fantasia_ area. Ginny rolled her eyes at him when he finally gave up helplessly, and redirected the group in the right direction.

"Wow," said Hermione, as they walked into the toy courtyard. "I feel so..._little_."

"Yeah," Ron agreed, turning full circle to take in his surroundings. "All of these toys are huge."

"Am I the only one who's seen _Toy Story_?" Harry asked in exasperation. He was rewarded with a round of blank looks. "Well, we'll have to see if we can change that."

They walked over to the enormous Woody statue ("Amazing! How _did_ they do that without an Engorgement Charm?" Mr. Weasley wondered aloud) and up the toy soldiers' staircase, to a set of three rooms directly across from Draco's, Lucius's, and Voldemort's, though they didn't know that. The first room had a king size bed for Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, the next had two double beds for Ginny and Hermione, and the final one had another pair of double beds for Ron and Harry. All three rooms were decorated in a similar fashion to Draco's, though this bunch found much more pleasure in the theme.

"Oh my gosh!" said Ginny, when she unwrapped the soap to wash her hands. "It's got Mickey carved into it!"

Hermione laughed at how easily impressed Ginny was. Everyone put their luggage in their respective rooms and then the Weasley parents stopped by the other two rooms to say they were going to walk around and "We'll bring back dinner with us."

"Let's go see what the boys are doing," said Ginny restlessly, after they had left.

"Okay," said Hermione. They walked over to the room next to theirs and knocked. There was a thump like someone falling off of a bed, and after several seconds Ron opened the door and thrust his face through the crack.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Nothing, we just came over to see what you two were up to."

"Oh," said Ron, and his ears reddened just a little, just enough for Ginny to pick up on it.

"You two weren't being so immature as to have a _pillow fight_, were you?" she asked forcibly.

"No," said Ron, loudly and immediately.

"Mmhmm. Well let us in, we can watch television or something," said Hermione.

Ron looked reluctant as he opened the door all the way to permit their entrance, treating them to a view of the room which the boys had already completely destroyed; blankets and pillows were strewn everywhere.

"Some lack of a pillow fight you two had," Ginny smirked.

"Eh, shut up," said Harry mildly. He was sitting on one of the beds and his hair appeared even more tousled than usual.

"Oh forget watching TV over here," said Hermione, having taken in the destruction of the room. "Come back over to our room; _we_ haven't completely destroyed it yet."

So they all went back to girls' room, piling onto the beds, and Harry found the remote and turned on the TV. He found a channel where you could order Disney movies to watch, and purposefully neglecting to tell the others this would cause an extra charge, put on _Toy Story_ for them all so they could understand the building they were staying in. While the others watched the start of the movie, Harry, who had, of course, already seen it, had room service bring up some popcorn and sodas, and met the deliveryman at the door so no one else would see Harry paying him. He had bought a great two-liter bottle of Coca-Cola, and poured some into cups for himself and the other three while they passed the popcorn amongst themselves.

Hermione, especially, enjoyed the film immensely, and some might even say she was close to tears at the end, though Ginny was not far behind.

"That was _such_ a nice film," Hermione sighed. "I'm so glad we're in the Woody building, I think I like him better than Buzz."

"Me too," Ginny fervently agreed.

"Can we watch another one?" Ron asked.

The only Disney movie Harry had ever seen was _Toy Story_, and although he knew there was a _Toy Story 2_ he was not sure Hermione had the emotional capacity for it right now, so instead he looked through the list of movies and took his chances with _The Lion King_, which turned out to be a very good idea, as everybody loved it. On the down side, Hermione had started crying during the scene when Mufasa was about to die and Ginny started up shortly afterwards. "Don't listen to him, Simba!" she cried out when Scar encouraged Simba to run away. This caused Ron to mutter to Harry that they were both crazy women. Harry grinned in reply.

After _The Lion King_ was over there was no question that everybody wanted to see another film, and after Ron commented he'd like to watch "one that's not funny drawings" Harry turned on _Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark_.

"Thanks, Ron," Hermione said sarcastically, afterwards. "I needed to get scared out of my skin."

"Sorry," said Ron, shrugging sheepishly.

No protests came from Ginny, however. She and Harry had both thrived on the intense action.

At about this point Mr. and Mrs. Weasley returned, bringing with them an assortment of greasy foods. They sat down with the kids to watch a fourth film, this time _The Little Mermaid_ ("It'll be interesting to see what the Muggles think," Hermione persuaded), as all of the...er..._nutrition_ was devoured.

About halfway through the film Harry became uncomfortably aware that the hero had black hair and the heroine red, and after that he found it very hard to look over at Ginny. Mrs. Weasley seemed to have noticed this too; she kept on looking back and forth from her daughter to Harry, biting her lip as if in thought.

After _The Little Mermaid_ Mr. and Mrs. Weasley went back to their own room because Mr. Weasley was anxious to see how his own television worked, and watch Muggle programming. When it came time to pick the next movie, they picked _Cinderella_.

"That was wretched," Ron said afterwards.

It was getting quite late, but they decided they had time for one ninety-minute film. Just when Harry was about to turn it on, the television picture faltered and after that everything had a greenish hue.

"Let's switch rooms then," Hermione said. "And I'll call the front desk to see if they can fix it."

She did this while everyone else moved their various items – primarily the remaining Coca-Cola and their own bodies – to the boys' room, and when she joined them she said the staff would come by the next day while they were at the park and fix it.

For the last film of the evening, they selected _Peter Pan_, because Hermione said she had read the book a long time ago, before she found out she was a witch. Ginny fell asleep about half an hour before it was over, lying crosswise on one of the beds. The film concluded – "How sweet," Hermione said. "I wish Ginny could have seen the end." – and they were left with the dilemma of getting Ginny back to the girl's room. They tried to wake her but she was very deeply asleep from the long day.

"We'll have to carry her," said Ron, staring perplexedly at his sister.

"Well I won't be able to," Hermione said.

Just then Ron had an idea. "I will, then," he said, and made to pick Ginny up, but he put on a big show as if this was really very difficult for him. He walked a few steps, staggering and swaying dramatically.

"Let me do it, Ron," said Harry, eyeing Ron nervously.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, just let me take her before you drop her."

Harry slid his arms under Ginny's limp form and Ron let his own arms drop. Now that he was supporting all of the weight, he really didn't think she was _that_ heavy. But he didn't pause to ponder it as he moved, with her in his arms, easily across the room to the door, which Ron opened for him, and Hermione preceded him over to the other room to unlock that door and open it for Harry. He walked in and gently laid Ginny on the first bed. Her hair was all mussed up and covering parts of her face, sticking to her lips and eyelashes. He wanted to fix it, but Hermione was watching, so instead he just said a gruff "Good night," and walked back to his own room. Ron had changed into his pajamas in Harry's absence, so Harry went into the bathroom and did the same. When he emerged, Ron had already fallen asleep, and he lay down uneasily.

It took a very long time for his tiredness to overcome him. He kept on thinking of _The Little Mermaid_. He wondered if Ginny had noticed the similarities as well. He remembered how Ginny used to never talk, and then the day he realized she was over it. He hadn't really thought about it then, but now the memory felt odd to him, as if he had missed a step going down stairs. His mind went back to the film, and he asked himself if he was just imagining the whole thing. He thought of Ginny's face, and of Ariel's. Ariel of course was a cartoon character, and therefore could not be expected to have a realistic face, but he thought to himself that surely her most prominent feature was her huge eyes. Ginny had large eyes too; though, come to think of it, Harry was not sure how he knew this. Finally his mind got tired of the unanswered questions and lapsed into sleep.

* * *

The three professors and Tonks had Apparated into an abandoned corner of Disney's All-Star Movies Resort. Not trusting anyone else with the reservations, Dumbledore left the others and all of their bad moods outside and went up to the Front Desk alone. Having retrieved the room keys and tickets, he led his group to their rooms. As it so happened, they were staying in the Pongo building of the 101 Dalmatians area, which caused Severus to groan in misery, "I never – _ever_ – want to see another one of those wretched spotted dogs again."

But of course he did, as the entire building was themed with Dalmatians. Everyone immediately went to their respective rooms – one for Tonks and Minerva, one for Dumbledore and Snape – because they were too tired to explore, and fell asleep. Well, except for Severus, who had already slept a great deal. He saw Albus put in earplugs before falling asleep, so in a fit of boredom he turned on the television and became another unfortunate victim of the Disney Information Channel. When the show began to repeat itself he clicked around in desperation, finally settling on a baseball game, though he didn't know that that was what it was. He was merely hoping that one of the flying baseballs was going to injure one of the players so that something today would have gone his way. After watching the entire game, which was sadly bereft of injury, he finally switched it off and went to bed, wondering whether a life of service to the Dark Lord would have been so bad after all.

* * *

And that, kids, is chapter one! I'd like to thank my beta reader, Katie, for punctuality, help, ideas, and general awesomeness; my best friend, a different Katie, for even more ideas and general awesomeness; and my other best friend, She-Who-Is-Not-Named-Katie (Lauren) for general awesomeness and introducing me to Superman. Peace out, people, and for all you monorail fans - "Please stand clear of the doors!"

****


	2. Petting Zoo of HORROR!

* * *

"Ginny dear, wake up," Mrs. Weasley said gently. "It's time to start getting ready." 

"Okay Mum," Ginny murmured, and Molly hurried out again.

"Oh, I fell asleep in the boys' room, didn't I?" said Ginny, recalling the events of last night.

"Yup," said Hermione, who was brushing her hair. "Harry had to carry you back here."

Ginny coughed.

* * *

"GOOD MORNING, BOYS!" 

Mr. Weasley's voice pierced Ron's dream like a foghorn.

"You'll never believe it! This morning to wake us up, some chap called Mickey gave us a phone call! It was the nicest thing!"

Harry looked as if he was debating telling Mr. Weasley something, but he just grinned and said, "Cool."

Both boys were sitting up in bed, having just been stirred.

As Harry searched out his glasses and put them on, Arthur went on, "Hurry up and get ready, Molly and I've got a surprise for you all, and we don't want to waste any time today!"

He bustled out of the room leaving silence in his wake.

"Ron," Harry moaned after a moment, "What time is it?"

Ron rolled over so that he was facing the clock.

"Ugh. Seven in the morning."

"There's a seven in the morning?" Harry asked in sarcastic shock.

Ron took the pillow next to him and threw it at the other bed in the vague direction of Harry.

"It's too early for a pillow fight," Harry said in reply, kicking the pillow off the bed. "C'mon, we'd better start getting ready."

He rolled out of bed and trudged into the bathroom, leaving Ron alone. Ron pulled on jeans, a t-shirt, and trainers. (AN: I used the British term; go me!) Then he went to the sink area and brushed his teeth. Left with nothing else to do, he sat back down on his bed and turned on the (by now infamous) Disney Information Channel.

"What's that?" Harry asked when he emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed.

"Dunno," said Ron vaguely.

Harry combed his hair and while he was brushing his teeth there was a knock on the door. Ron opened it and admitted his sister and his...um...that is, Hermione. As soon as the latter clapped eyes on him, she said, "_Ron!_"

"What is it?" Ron said, checking that his shirt wasn't on backwards and that his shoes were on the right feet.

"You didn't comb your hair!"

"Oh. Knew I was forgetting something."

"Oh, you _always_ forget! Where's the comb?"

Out of the corner of her eye, Ginny saw Harry slide the comb out of sight.

"I dunno," said Ron innocently.

"Oh bother!" said Hermione, and she began attacking his hair with her fingers. As she tried to straighten his part, she continued her diatribe.

"Harry always combs his hair!"

"Leave me out of this," said Harry, still standing by the sink.

Ron ignored him. "Harry has to comb his hair; it's a disaster!"

"You should talk!"

Ron lapsed into moody silence as Hermione finally became satisfied with the condition of his hair.

"So what's the surprise your mum and dad've got?" Harry asked.

"I wish I knew," Ginny replied. "They didn't tell us either."

Just then there was a knock at the door. Ginny answered it and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley came in. Mrs. Weasley appeared to be using all her willpower to not comment on the room's disordered state.

"Well, yesterday on our walk," said Mr. Weasley, "We went into the Muggle store next to the lobby and found some really neat things!"

"Show us," said Hermione encouragingly.

"Well, first we got this." Mr. Weasley procured one of those spray-bottle battery-powered fans. "One of the people working there said it would keep us cool."

"Oh, that's a wonderful Muggle thing!" said Hermione. "Let me show you - "

She took the fan from Arthur and switched it on so that it blew cold air, which delighted him. He promptly christened the fan "Wind-Maker."

"It sprays water, too," said Hermione. "I'll fill it up with ice so it will be cold all day."

As she did this, Mrs. Weasley said, "We got something else, too. They're called..._talky-walky_."

"Oh!" said Harry. "Walkie-talkies! Dudley had a pair once! Those will be great; if we get separated we can still communicate!"

Harry began to show Mr. Weasley how the walkie-talkies worked while Mrs. Weasley separated Ginny's hair into two pigtails and Hermione filled up the bottle of the fan. This left Ron as the only unoccupied person.

"Which park are we going to today?" he asked.

"I was thinking Animal Kingdom," said Harry. "It closes early so we'll be starting slow, and it should be a pretty leisurely day because it's the newest park so there's not tons of stuff to do there yet."

"Oh, but it will be so interesting!" said Hermione, screwing the fan back on the bottle and sitting down next to Ron.

"This will be excellent!" Mr. Weasley said excitedly.

"Thank you for taking us here, Harry," said Mrs. Weasley for the thousandth time.

"Well I couldn't've very well gone alone," Harry countered.

Everyone finished up what they were doing and they went down to breakfast at about quarter 'til eight. After having some toast they walked to the sidewalk in front of the lobby and waited for the bus. Mr. Weasley looked as if he wanted to be skipping in circles. Finally the Animal Kingdom bus arrived and they all piled in.

* * *

RING. 

RING.

RING.

Severus beat Albus to answering the phone. He picked up the receiver but didn't say anything. It didn't matter anyway; whatever was on the other end didn't require a response.

"Can you feel the love tonight?" a voice was singing.

"Oh holy _hell!_" Snape yelled, slamming down the receiver.

"Goodness, Severus," said Albus mildly. "It was just the wake-up call."

* * *

"Good morning, L-Train!" 

Most people know the Dark Lord is immune to Avada Kedavra. Very few people, however, are aware that he is also immune to hangovers.

"Hello, my Lord," said Lucius stiffly, opening his eyes. Draco was already awake, standing at the foot of the bed and glaring at his father.

"All right, I'm awake." Lucius sat up.

"My master is _not_ jumping on the bed," he said to himself, when the sight met his eyes.

Of course not, Lucius.

* * *

"I decided to let you sleep in and delayed the wake-up call," Albus was explaining, "So we'll get there a little late." 

"Thank you, Headmaster," said Snape sarcastically, but the sarcasm was ignored.

The four adults were sitting on a bench in front of the hotel waiting for the bus that would take them to Animal Kingdom.

"Oh, and before I forget," said Dumbledore, "everyone needs to wear one of these."

He showed them four hats he had bought, each representative of a Winnie the Pooh character, though none of them knew that.

"_Why?_" Severus moaned.

"So no one will recognize us. Especially you, Professor Snape."

There was no need for elaboration.

The hats were distributed and everyone got one that was ironically appropriate – Dumbledore, Pooh, the leader of the group, Severus, Eeyore, the depressed one (that fans _lurrrve_), Minerva, Rabbit, the cranky one, and Tonks, Tigger, the eternally cheerful one. Of course, Tonks immediately changed her hair color to orange with black stripes to match her new headgear. It is unnecessary to say that when the bus arrived and they got on, they were the recipients of an abundance of odd looks.

* * *

"We're here! We're here!" Mr. Weasley and Ginny sang as they got off the bus. Harry saw the bus driver smile and say to himself, "First-timers." 

Indeed, they were "there," Animal Kingdom in all its splendor. Everything was lush, green, and alive-looking, even when it was synthetic. The only thing that could possibly mar their enjoyment was that their wands were confiscated at the entrance.

"We've had information that objects of this description may be used as weapons," the security personnel man explained. "You can retrieve them tonight on your way out of the park, however."

Mr. Weasley was delighted to have another encounter with turnstiles, as he hadn't seem them since he had escorted Harry to his trial the summer before. They fed their tickets through it and entered the park. Before Mr. Weasley moved on, however, he turned around and snapped a picture of the device with a Muggle camera he had also purchased.

"We should do Kilimanjaro Safaris first," said Ginny, as they stood on the huge brick mosaic of a tree that lay right at the entrance to the park. "It's very popular and least crowded in the mornings."

"I think I'd like to take a walk around and get my bearings before anything else," said Mr. Weasley, and he did indeed look as if he was about to pass out.

"Let's split up then," said Harry. "We do have the walkie-talkies, after all."

So they grabbed guidemaps and parted ways.

Ginny led the other three into the jungle ahead of them, down a congested trail full of fellow tourists.

"Look at that tree," said Ron, after a few seconds. "It almost looks like a person."

He poked it.

It poked him back.

He yelled.

Harry laughed so hard tears came to his eyes.

"_Honestly_, Ron," said Hermione, grinning. "You ought to know from the guidebooks to watch out for things that look human even though they shouldn't."

"Oh, shut up," said Ron, looking flustered.

The trail split and the four of them chose a more abandoned route that Ginny said might be quicker. On the way they encountered a small house of reptiles that was abandoned except for surveillance cameras. They were going to walk through it, but Harry stopped in front of a case set into the wall that contained a snake, remembering his trip to the zoo when he was eleven.

"Hold up!" he called to the others, and then turned to the snake. "Hello."

The snake did not appear surprised that it was being spoken to, for some reason.

"Hello," it hissed.

"I suppose you don't get much conversation here."

"No, but there are more wizards here than meet the eye. Sssome work here, too, and sssubtly make thingsss easier for the ressst of you."

"Really?" said Harry, his interest aroused. "How?"

"They sssell ssspecial pins that befuddle Muggles ssso you can ssskip to the head of a line. They only work on property, though."

"Brilliant! What do they look like?"

"They have Sssimba on them and say 'king.' I think the shop at the end of thisss trail sssells them."

"Hurry up, Harry!" Ginny said, ignoring the fact that he was conversing with a snake. "We have to beat the crowds!"

"Well, I have to go," said Harry. "Thanks again for the info, anyway."

"Goodbye," said the snake.

Harry led the way out of the little building.

"You know that's wicked bizarre, don't you, Harry?" Ron asked.

"Yeah," Harry grinned. "But it gave me useful information. C'mon, we have a purchase to make."

He bought the four of them the Simba pins (AN: which I made up the design for, by the way) at the shop the snake had described, after explaining to the others what they did. He didn't bother to pick up some for Ron's parents; he knew Mr. Weasley would want to do things the Muggle way. After that they could take their time. They came to Kilimanjaro Safaris and easily walked past everybody else in line without protest.

"How many?" the smiling cast member (Disney World employee) asked, and directed them to a row of seats in one of the battered-looking trucks. Harry, Ginny, Hermione, and Ron piled into it, effectively filling it. Their driver, a rambunctious brunette named Nadia, began narrating as she pulled away from the loading station.

The first part of the ride was interesting, and they saw all sorts of animals. Then there were poachers and squeaky bridges and anarchy, which Ginny especially enjoyed very much.

"I did _not_ like the squeaky bridge," said Hermione squeamishly after they had gotten off. "Anyway, where to now?"

"I thought we'd just circle around the Tree of Life," Ginny mused.

"Sounds like a plan," said Harry.

"That ride was bloody incredible," said Ron, who wasn't really listening.

They bypassed the Wildlife Express Train to Rafiki's Planet Watch, because Ginny pointed out it would probably be better later in the day when they were tired and everything else was crowded. That said, they moved on to Asia and tried the Maharajah Jungle Trek. The boys liked the bats; Hermione and Ginny preferred the tigers. At the end they found themselves in front of Kali River Rapids.

"This'll be good, after that hot walk," said Harry. No one protested as they all got in line. For a minute they pretended to be Muggles so they could see the interesting things in the waiting area, but then Ron got impatient and they skipped ahead to the rotating loading dock. Hermione had butterflies from all of the "dire warnings" posted in the loading area, though of course she had the sense to realize it wasn't going to be that bad. Still...the creaky bridge...

"Next!" said the cast member who was walking opposite to the dock's rotations to keep up with it. Hermione suppressed her nervousness and got into the circular raft with the others, stowing the spray fan in the center compartment reserved for things that had to stay dry. (AN: My stomach is in knots right now...it makes me anxious just writing this ride!)

The raft was circular with eight seats all facing toward the middle and grouped in pairs. Hermione and Ginny sat together, as did Harry and Ron. The raft flowed along at a slow, leisurely pace, past ruins of ancient Asian temples and things like that. They went down a small drop, but Hermione was facing downwards and it was the boys, on the side of the drop, who got a little wet. This became quickly inconsequential; next they all passed under a waterfall, and Hermione, now thoroughly soaked, relaxed somewhat. (AN: Just want to say this isn't exactly how the ride goes, it's just bits of what I remember and I've only ridden twice and not since last October.) They floated by a pile of burning logs that had something to do with loggers. Hermione grinned and flashed a thumbs-up at Ron, whose eyes widened. Hermione made to ask what it was, but next second she was falling backwards down the ride's "big drop," and the crash at the bottom ensured that she and Ginny were drenched. The boys, miraculously, were relatively unscathed.

"No fair!" Hermione called to Ron, now confident the worst was over. "You could've told me we were about to go over backwards!"

Ron laughed, and Hermione took savage pleasure in it when, at the end of the ride, he was squirted by one of the elephants controlled by other tourists.

"Serves you right!" She cackled as he madly tried to repel the droplets away from his head with his arms.

There was a pause as they all climbed off the raft. Then –

"I feel...soggy," Ginny said.

"I feel hungry," Ron countered.

Harry bought a huge bag of popcorn as they made their way to the show in the Asia section. It was called Flights of Wonder and was all about birds. Hermione thought the Muggle perception of owls, especially in regard to their intelligence, was fascinating. Ron, for his part, thought how naïve the Muggles were was very funny. They had no difficulty polishing off their snack over the course of the show.

Since they had done everything in Asia, the group hiked over to DinoLand, USA. On their way, Mr. Weasley came on the walkie-talkie.

"Your mother wants to know that you four are safe and that you ate something and that you're staying hydrated."

"We're safe and hydrated, and we had a lot of popcorn," Harry answered.

"Where are you?" Ron asked.

"We just left the turnstiles," said Mr. Weasley. "Now we're taking pictures of trees."

"Good for you," said Hermione, the only one capable of responding to such a shocking announcement.

"Talk to you later, then," Arthur said.

There was a beep to indicate the end of the conversation and Ron asked, "How on earth could they spend an hour and a half at the _turnstiles_?"

"Well, maybe they were people watching," Ginny put in.

"Your mum is probably bored sick," said Harry with a smile.

As he said this they came into DinoLand.

"Let's ride Primeval Whirl!" Ron suggested, referring to the spinning roller coaster.

"Okay," Harry agreed.

"I'm going to sit this one out," said Hermione, looking up apprehensively at the tall structure.

"Me too," said Ginny. "We did just eat, after all."

So the boys rode Primeval Whirl while the girls tried TriceraTop Spin, curious to see what the park looked like from above. It was undeniably a kiddie ride, sitting in a car shaped like a triceratops and flying in circles, but Hermione and Ginny loved it.

"How was it?" Hermione asked the boys when they met up with them back on the ground.

"Bloody brilliant," said Ron fervently, though he looked a little pale.

"Yeah, it was," Harry put in.

"What did you two do while we were on it?" Ron asked.

"That," Ginny pointed to TriceraTop Spin.

"Don't tell me you had fun on that!"

"Oh _Ron_," said Hermione patronizingly, "you just don't get it."

Ron shrugged.

"Is everyone up for DINOSAUR now?" Harry suggested.

"Sure," they agreed.

Now, in the line for DINOSAUR, Hermione began to look nervous again as they were "briefed" on their "mission" to rescue a harmless dinosaur in a time machine (a jeep-like "rover") just before a meteor wipes all of the dinosaurs out. Ron noticed and asked, "Are you okay?"

They were just about to get on, so she nodded and slid into the "rover" (with extra wide seats) first, then Ron, then Harry, then Ginny.

It had a fun beginning, cruising past robotic dinosaurs, but then an Apatosaurus began to plague them. As it let out an earsplitting roar, Hermione screwed her eyes shut, but there was no blocking out the cries of the ride's narrator and the increasingly loud roars of the Apatosaurus. (FACT CHECK) She felt the rover jolt and speed up and shake wildly. Finally everything slowed down. The ride's voice-over said, "Phew, we got away! That was a close one!" and Hermione pried her eyes open.

She was face to face with the biggest, baddest, _toothiest _dinosaur, which let out the loudest roar yet.

Hermione screamed and ducked down in her seat, knocking her head on Ron's right leg. He placed both hands over her ears so she didn't hear the rest of the ride, and after a great deal more turbulence it was over.

Or so Hermione thought, until she emerged into the gift shop. When she did, she clapped eyes on a screen displaying pictures of the ride.

"Hey look, it's us!" Ginny said, smiling broadly as she pointed to a screen.

Hermione knew why Ginny was smiling; in the picture, all that could be seen of Hermione was her bushy brown head, partially obscured by Ron's hands that were on their way to her ears. Ron was looking down at her sort of nervously. Harry saw it and burst into laughter. Hermione, however, did not miss Ginny's hand clamped on Harry's arm in the picture. She decided not to mention it at the time; it would make better ammunition later.

It was almost three, so they headed back towards the Tree of Life and Discovery Island and staked out a square of sidewalk for the parade. Harry left to purchase ice cream before it arrived. As they all happily licked their spoons, still anticipating the parade, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley joined them.

"You won't believe it!" Arthur exclaimed, beaming around at them all. "One of the trees here _talks_!"

"We know," said Ron sourly.

"It let Arthur have a picture with it," Mrs. Weasley continued. "He was very pleased."

"I'm sure," Harry smiled.

Just then they heard the opening notes of music that heralded the arrival of the parade. Ginny and Hermione cheered loudly at the _Lion King_ parts. Mr. Weasley cheered loudly at _all_ the parts, until Mrs. Weasley borrowed the fan from Hermione and squirted him every time he got too enthusiastic. By the conclusion of the parade, he was dripping wet.

"Where are the four of you off to now?" he asked.

"I was thinking the show inside the tree," Harry said. "It's about what it's like to be a bug."

"Do you have anything you would recommend to us, dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"Try Asia," Ron suggested. "You and Dad should like the show and trail, and maybe the raft ride, too."

"Yes," Hermione said, "and after that, I think you'll both love Kilimanjaro Safaris in Africa."

"Excellent!" said Mr. Weasley.

"How about we meet you for dinner at five-thirty in Africa?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"Okay," said Ginny. "and then we can go see the _Lion King_ show in Camp Minnie-Mickey before the park closes at seven."

* * *

Lucius, Draco, and Voldemort were very, very wet. The Dark Lord had taken a liking to Kali River Rapids. 

"My hair is all mussed up and knotty," whined Draco. "I wish they hadn't taken our wands."

"Quiet!" Voldemort hissed. He was scrutinizing his guidemap, his handsmaking it very soggy in the process. There was several seconds' silence, until he abruptly whispered in an excited voice, "Oh. My. Gosh."

"What is it?"

"There's a _petting zoo_."

* * *

"Where's Severus?" Minerva asked. 

"I don't know; I think he got lost on purpose," Dumbledore mused.

Tonks said, "Thank Merlin. He brought new meaning to the term 'wet blanket.'"

"Yes, well this place certainly puts the 'wet' in 'wet blanket,' doesn't it?" Minerva pointed out. They had recently had their own encounter with Kali River Rapids.

"Keeps you cool, though," said Albus.

"Well," said Tonks, "let's do something before Severus comes back, how about DINOSAUR?"

"Good," said Dumbledore.

"Fine," Minerva assented.

"So much for this place being a dull cage for Muggle children, huh, Minerva?" Tonks grinned after they got off again.

There was no getting around the fact that Minerva had screamed for the duration of the ride. By now it was the part of the day where most everyone is tired, miserable, and hungry, and Professor McGonagall was no exception. She was actually considering cotton candy.

"The only way it could get worse is if Severus turns up again," she thought to herself irritably. As soon as she thought it, she expected him to appear, but mercifully, he did not.

* * *

Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione decided to wait in line for "It's Tough to Be a Bug!" because the line wound around the roots of the Tree of Life and it was fun to look for animal carvings. They found the four animals that represented the four Houses of Hogwarts and then they began to name animals to search for. After a while they got bored and skipped to the head of the line, where they were given their "bug eyes" (3-D glasses). 

"What is 3-D, anyway?" Ron asked, eyeing his pair suspiciously.

"It's like a regular movie," said Hermione, "except..."

"Things _pop out_ at you," Ginny finished.

The doors to the theatre opened to admit the waiting crowd and they filed in.

The show began. Harry, Hermione, and Ginny, thought it was hilarious, but the first time something in the show was lobbed at the crowd and flew into the audience's faces thanks to the "bug eyes," Ron yelled and would not wear them for the rest of it.

"That was _so funny!_" said Ginny emphatically as they walked back out into the open air, dropping their 3-D glasses in a bin on the way.

"It was _scary_," insisted Ron. "All those bees..."

"Ron," laughed Ginny, "Hermione's rubbing off on you."

Hermione squirted Ginny in the face with the spray fan. Ginny ignored her, consulting her guidemap yet again.

"Well," she said, "we've done everything except for Festival of the Lion King, which we're going to later, the trails in Africa, and the train to Rafiki's Planet Watch."

"I'm too tired to walk," said Harry waspishly.

"Yeah, let's take the train," Hermione agreed. "I love Rafiki, anyway."

Ron checked his watch. "We have an hour and a half till we meet Mum and Dad for dinner, so we'll probably have time to do everything."

After a breezy train ride, they wandered around the Conservation Station until Ron whined it was too "educational." They ventured near the petting yard, but when they did, Harry's scar began to throb painfully, so they did a little of the walking trail and took the train back to Africa.

"We still have half an hour to kill," Harry pointed out.

"More trailwalking then, I suppose," said Hermione.

"'Pangani Forest Exploration Trail,'" Ginny read from the guidemap. "'Enjoy surprises around every turn, from gorillas to underwater hippos!'"

"Aren't hippos always underwater?" Ron wanted to know.

"You know, I'm not sure," said Hermione, tilting her head. "It doesn't sound logical, and I know they can't be completely submerged because they have to breathe, but then I don't think I've ever seen one completely on dry ground."

"Let's find out, then," said Harry.

After twenty minutes of walking they came to an area of the path where there were crocodiles on one side, elephants on the other, and a sign that read, "Hippos Ahead." The prospect of solving their hippo mystery made Ron so excited that he barely glanced at the other creatures.

"Go ahead," said Harry, "We'll catch you up."

"Okay," said Ron, and Ginny heard him leave. A second later she realized Hermione was gone too, leaving her and Harry alone. She had her back to him, as she was watching the elephants and he was looking at the crocodiles. This part of the trail was empty and abnormally quiet. She could hear the soft crunch of gravel as Harry turned around and walked up behind her.

"Are you having a good time?" he asked, and it was unclear whether or not he was making small talk. Ginny was not sure which interpretation she preferred.

"Yeah," said Ginny. Her voice broke as she said it and she coughed and spun around. She came almost nose to nose with Harry, having not realized he was so close behind her, and took a small step backwards towards the elephants, the guard rail digging into her back.

There was a split second of eye contact and then Harry looked off in the direction Ron and Hermione had gone.

"C'mon," he said, "let's go find Ron and Hermione."

Ginny nodded mutely and followed Harry further down the trail, wondering whether she was going to catch the two of them holding hands or something. As it happened, she was completely wrong; when Hermione and Ron came into sight, they were in the midst of a heated debate over whether one of the hippos was technically underwater.

"Knock it off, you two," she said.

"Look at that hippo!" Ron cried, rounding on his sister and gesturing wildly at one of the innocent-looking creatures. "It doesn't even qualify as _wading_; it's not even in up to its knees!"

"Yeah," Hermione countered, "But part of it _is_ under water so technically it's _underwater!_"

Ron glared at her.

"Um...let's keep moving," said Harry.

By the time they arrived at the next animal – giraffes – everybody had forgotten about the hippos.

"Hold it!" said Ginny, looking over to the gazelle viewing area several yards off to their right. "Is that _Professor Snape_?"

"Oh my goodness," said Hermione, squinting at the figure. "I think you're right."

No one could think of anything to add to the alarming discovery. (AN: Severus had, by the way, taken off his hat, figuring it was worth being recognized by the Dark Lord.)

Mr. Weasley came in over the walkie-talkie.

"We just got off of Kilimanjaro Safaris," he said. "It was brilliant, though I thought the Muggles would have the sense to build more sturdy bridges."

Harry covered the walkie-talkie's mouthpiece with his hand and asked the others, "Should we tell him it was farce?"

"Nah," Ron shook his head. "He'll have more fun if he thinks it's real."

Harry said to Mr. Weasley, "Yeah, I know. Anyway, we're on the Pangani Trail right now, but I think we're nearing the end."

"Okay, we'll meet you at the place where it rejoins Africa."

When they emerged from the lush "jungle," they found Mr. and Mrs. Weasley waiting for them as promised. When she saw her children, Harry, and Hermione, she pulled them all into a hug as if she had been expecting to never see them again.

"Are you all staying cool?" she demanded. "And drinking lots of fluid?"

"'Course, Mum," said Ginny, grinning. "Did you have a good day?"

"Oh, it was lovely," Mrs. Weasley smiled. "This place _is_ very interesting."

"And I got lots of pictures," Mr. Weasley put in. "Good thing I got extra film."

"Good thing I charmed the camera to be waterproof last night," Mrs. Weasley added. "He was photographing everything on Kali River Rapids."

The others laughed, and Ginny said, "Come on, let's get some food."

They found a nice outdoor table at a restaurant in the African marketplace and watched some acrobatic performers as they ate.

"How was your day, dears?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"Awesome," said Ron fervently.

"Completely," Ginny and Hermione added.

"I'm having a great time," said Harry.

"Oh, good," Molly replied. "I'm glad we had this opportunity..."

And she thanked Harry yet again.

After the meal, they walked a long way, out of Africa, across a bridge, across Discovery Island, across another bridge, and down the long trail to Camp Minnie-Mickey.

The Festival of the Lion King show was staged in a huge outdoor, covered pavilion. They were still quite early, so they found good seats close to the center of the pavilion, which was the stage. Mr. Weasley enthusiastically told them about his and his wife's day, describing the funny habits of Muggles. They had, apparently, done a lot of people-watching. Then the other four talked about what their day had been like, and they compared their thoughts on rides. Finally the show started. The Weasley parents, of course, had never seen _The Lion King_, but this did not mar in the least Arthur's enjoyment of the show. Everyone else had a fun time, too, and they recapped their favorite parts on the way out of the park, retrieving their wands in the process.

"Why does it close so early?" Mrs. Weasley asked as they waited for a bus back to their resort.

"I think so the animals can rest," said Ginny.

"This was an incredible day," said Ron, leaning on a steel pole and closing his eyes in contentment.

"I don't know how we'll top it," Harry said.

"We'll find a way," said Ginny confidently.

The bus arrived and they climbed on and found seats.

"I love the aura of this place," Hermione commented.

"Really good..._vibes_," Ginny agreed.

"It's crazy," said Ron, "the detail."

"Since when are you a stickler for detail?" said Hermione skeptically.

Ron shrugged.

They went back to their hotel rooms. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley went to pick up more film while the others got together to watch a movie. After watching _Aladdin_ ("She shouldn't have taken him back!" said Hermione) and _Beauty and the Beast_ ("She's just like you, Hermione, all bookish and brunette," Ron observed), Harry and Ron went back to their room. Harry wanted to think about the day, but to his own surprise, he fell asleep almost instantly.

Harry saw Ginny sitting on a rock in the middle of a stream like the portrait of the mermaid in the prefects' bathroom, being advanced upon by a hippo that was gnashing its jaws more like the Apatosaurus on DINOSAUR than a normal hippo. Harry wanted to save her but didn't know how; he jumped into the stream and saw Godric Gryffindor's sword floating down towards him. He seized it, brandishing it wildly, and cried out, "Hold on, Ginny! I'll try to kill it!"

"No!" Ginny yelled back. "I don't need you, I can fight it on my own!"

And as Harry watched she started repeatedly kicking the hippo's head until it retreated downstream, and Harry, left with nothing to do, climbed back onto land. Sopping wet even though he had only been in up to his waist, he turned around to look at Ginny. She was still sitting on the rock, also curiously drenched, and as he watched she began laughing at him. She laughed harder and harder, droplets of water falling from her fiery locks, until tears streamed from her eyes, and then she turned into Cho Chang, still crying, and Cho demanded to know why Harry hadn't rescued Ginny...Harry tried to explain Ginny was fine on her own, but Cho cried harder and harder and then she came up and he thought she was going to try to kiss him again, and he said he didn't like her anymore. Cho stopped crying and glared at him, then, saying, "I should have _known_," skulked away.

* * *

And that, kids, is chapter two! ENORMOUS thanks to all THREE of my reviewers, as well as Katie the Beta, Katie the BFF, and Lauren the other BFF! I have started chapter three, but nobody gets it until I get another four reviews, to beat last chapter! So THERE! Hehe! I know this chapter had very little of the baddies and the grownups, but I couldn't think what to do with them and I didn't want to stretch...hopefully we can have a little more in future episodes. Thanks again to everybody - bye!

P.S. Last chapter's title - Katie (the Beta, not the BFF) suggested it, as she will for all upcoming chapters. I loved it because it has NOTHING to do with the story! Sorry if I got your hopes up!

Nepenthe


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